April 6, 2022
What Is a Spiritual Family? Comments on Sri Ramana Maharshi’s Text “How to Be Oneself — Pure Happiness”
Family in the Relative and Absolute Dimensions
Another pilgrim asked:
I have a family. Can those who live in a family attain liberation, and if so, how?M. What is “family”? Whose family is it? If you find the answer to these questions, the remaining questions will resolve themselves. Tell me: Are you in the family, or is the family in you?
(The visitor did not answer.)
Sri Bhagavan continued:
Who are you? You include three aspects of life, namely the states of waking, dreaming, and dreamless sleep. During your dreamless sleep, you are not conscious of the family and its bonds, and therefore these questions do not arise then. But now you are conscious of the family and its burdens, and therefore you seek liberation. Yet throughout everything that happens, you remain the same person.
The concepts of family, clan, nation, race, and belonging to a class of beings have meaning only in the relative dimension—for people who do not seek liberation. For a sadhu who seeks liberation, these concepts acquire a completely different meaning. They have value only if they contribute to liberation, and if they do not, they have no value and even become hindrances, obstacles, one of the forms of pashu. When we become sannyasis, we cast aside social and cultural patterns, since they are necessary to serve maya, to serve matter, to continue the energy of prakriti and reproduction, to serve one’s ego, maintain well-being, satisfy sensual desires, and, in general, create such a worldly mandala.
If the family of a karma sannyasi contributes to the path of liberation and the path of practice, then this is fine—it is a good mandala for a karma sannyasi. For a sannyasi, the principle of family is replaced by the principle of kula or sangha—a spiritual family in which there are no familial ties and in which relationships are completely different. Relations between people are built not on the basis of sensual attachment, but on the basis of:
- trust,
- a common Symbol of Faith,
- a common lineage of transmission,
- the four immeasurables,
- the spirit of samaya,
- cooperation and mutual assistance on the path to liberation.
This type of family is called kula or sangha, and those who belong to it are samaya brothers and sisters, or guru-bhais—disciples of the same guru who follow the same lineage of transmission. These are entirely different bonds and relationships that contribute to liberation in the relative dimension.
From the absolute perspective, the concepts of family, clan, and nation are regarded as purely illusory, lacking the nature of inherent existence and having no connection whatsoever to the Absolute. A mind without support must learn to be self-sufficient and strong, relying on its own awareness; therefore, a sadhu does not seek support in the family as such. A sadhu serves the family; a sadhu serves the sangha. He sees it as a mandala of divine will for the dissemination of the dharma, but a sadhu seeks support in higher things: in the view, in the Tree of Refuge. In the absolute sense, the monastic sangha, the spiritual family, the kula exist for us, but they do not have that worldly flavor of egoism, sensual pleasures, attachment, dependence, or entanglement in material karmic ties. Such a family is also called the Tree of Refuge.
There is also a principle in Sanatana Dharma called “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam”—“The whole world is one divine family.” In this sense, we regard all living beings, regardless of gender, race, nation, culture, religion, or faith, as our spiritual brothers and sisters, as our relatives, because they all have the Atman, they all have one nature, one common path—despite delusions and misunderstanding. To expand our egoistic understanding of family to the universal family—the kula, the tantric kula, the sangha, the entire Tree of Refuge, headed by saints and deities—is our understanding of this term.
Sangha as the Third Jewel
P. Since I now feel that I am in a family, it would be right for me to seek liberation.
M. You are right. But think and tell me: Are you in the family, or is the family in you?
Another visitor interjected: What is family?
M. Exactly. This must be understood.
P. I have a wife and also my children. They depend on me. This is what family is.
M. Do your family members bind your mind? Or are you the one attaching yourself to them? Do they come and tell you, “We are your family. Be with us”? Or are you the one who considers them your family and yourself attached to them?
D. I regard them as my family and feel attached to them.
M. Exactly. Since you think that so-and-so is your wife and so-and-so are your children, you also think that you are attached to them.
Certain people were born on earth and received a body. One person met a person of the opposite sex, and they began seeing each other and having sex. After the pregnancy, a child emerged from the woman’s body. Attachments arose between them, stable emotional karmic bonds; they began living together. All this seems ordinary, substantial, and material. In reality, it is all illusory and empty, based on arbitrary assumptions, on following the general culture, mass consciousness, instincts, habits, parental authority, social patterns, conventions, and stereotypes. Without thinking, these people accepted these patterns, conventions, and stereotypes, as well as their parents’ opinions; without thinking, they accepted the emotional and physical bonds that had arisen as something given, since this is customary in society. In reality, this is merely a system of beliefs and certain prejudices.
The family that exists now is a particular pattern of our time. There have been other patterns as well: for example, polyandry existed in Tibet—one woman and several men in a family. Such a period existed in Tibet during the Middle Ages, when there were many men and few women. There were other options too: one man and many women. In tribal relations, and even today in some tribes, there are common husbands, children, and wives within one tribe. This is one of the options, one of the patterns, but when a person believes in it, it becomes fetters, pasha—that which binds souls with ropes to certain identities and affiliations.
A spiritual family, kula or sangha, is a phenomenon of another world, not a human phenomenon. It is the result of Anugraha-shakti, a blessing. We respect such a spiritual family and value it as the mandala of the third jewel. This is not a phenomenon of this world: it is based neither on karma, nor on sensual attachments, nor on egoism, but on the idea of serving God, on accepting samaya, on accepting devotion to a single lineage of transmission. This connection must be deeply respected; therefore, we say that the sangha is the third jewel, that samaya relationships exist, and that they are very important.
Samaya relationships mean that we see all family members purely—even despite the occasional friction and disagreements that occur among everyone. Nevertheless, at their core, we do not allow them to take root; we dissolve them quickly. At our core, we respect everything that takes place in the sangha, everyone who belongs to it, its ethics, structure, principles, and foundations. This is because where it leads and what is practiced within it surpasses our human understanding. Even our endowments in this incarnation, our egoism, are a manifestation of the divine energy Anugraha-shakti. Therefore, the sangha is the third jewel, and in the “Pancharatna Pranama Mantra” we read: “Om Sangham Sharanam Prapadyam.”
When samayas are observed, when there is harmony in relationships within the sangha, meditation proceeds unhindered, communication is благословed, and the deities in the channels awaken simply through maintaining such a spirit. Blessed communication that awakens the deities in the channels, a pure spirit of samaya that only grows stronger over the years—this is the spiritual family, the sangha. It truly is the third jewel, which must be cherished. However, for it to genuinely be so, everyone must make efforts and undertake a certain tapas: rid themselves of egoism, control their emotions, and subdue their pride. Then it is possible; then purity will prevail, and samaya will prevail over karma.
Freedom from Thoughts and Perception of the Divine Play
M. These thoughts are yours. They owe their very existence to you. You can nourish these thoughts or eradicate them. The former is bondage, while the latter is liberation.
D. This is not entirely clear to me.
M. You must exist in order to be able to think. You can think about this or that. Thoughts change, but you do not. Let go of transient thoughts and hold on to the unchanging Self. Your thoughts create your bondage. If they are discarded, that is liberation.
Bondage is not external, and therefore no external means is necessary for liberation. It lies within your ability to think and thus become dependent—or to stop thinking and thus be free.
When you try to meditate during a lecture or satsang, you are not actually meditating, because the vibration coming from outside does not allow you to calm the mind and remain alert and clear. At the same time, you do not understand either the vibration or the meaning of the words. As a result, an effect is created in which you hear some kind of set of sounds that prevents you from remaining clear; you sink into a twilight state and begin to fall asleep. You should not meditate at this time—it will not work anyway; it is pointless. This has already been tested for years, for generations. For years I have seen monks, generations of monks, trying to meditate and listen, and it always ends the same way. Instead, you perform analytical meditation with your eyes half-open: you listen to the text, delve into its essence, and analyze it a little, engaging the mind so that there is yukti—understanding. You do not plunge deeply within yourself, but develop contemplation with your eyes open, remaining awake. Then there will be penetrating clarity, understanding, and wakefulness.
P. But it is difficult to remain without thoughts.
M. You do not need to stop thinking. Just think about the root of thoughts; seek it and find it. Atman, the Self, shines by Itself. When It is found, thoughts disappear on their own. This is freedom from dependence.
Seeking the root of thought is the essence of self-liberation. Usually, we unconsciously become absorbed in thoughts and believe the streams of thought that arise within us. There are actually very few experienced sadhus who are capable of completely cutting off the streams of thought and freeing themselves from them. After all, we often use thoughts in everyday life, and this training in using thoughts when they are useful plays a cruel trick on us. We begin to trust thoughts greatly and rely on them heavily, so when thoughts get out of control, we continue to trust them. The right solution is to seek the root of thoughts at the moment they arise, while generating the functional thoughts needed for seva and instantly freeing ourselves from them. Then we can remain constantly in a state beyond thoughts and perceive the situation not through thoughts, but through naked awareness.
For example, someone is doing something, and we like it or dislike it. Usually, thoughts arise in us, followed by emotions. But if we seek the root of thoughts at the moment we perceive this situation, it will be completely different. Emotions do not arise in us, thoughts do not arise either, and if they do arise, they immediately dissolve. We simply feel and see energy: a person is energy, a flowing river is also energy, the rustling foliage of the trees is also energy. We perceive the dynamics of energy without delving too deeply into its interpretation. Our naked consciousness only expands and blossoms as a result. We do not lose bliss, happiness, or purity; we do not lose the experience of emptiness. We enjoy this dynamic of energy; our preferences and judgments are not needed here at all. Past experience, our patterns, and perceptual stereotypes are not important here at all—there is only dynamics and energy.
After some time, we may discover that within this dynamic, based on naked consciousness, we always remain pure and free. We may even draw support from it, fuel for our consciousness—from things that previously might have pleased or displeased us. We can draw purity and divinity from everything. Then everything that happens begins to inspire and delight us. We begin to experience ananda—happiness, joy, freedom, and bliss regardless of the outcome of events. For example, you hear beautiful music and experience pleasure caused by the vibration. You hear thunder, a storm—and again, without interpreting it, you feel your pleasure and bliss unfolding. Thus the single taste begins. You understand that the first and the second are not different in terms of energy. It is the same energy, but in different manifestations. You enjoy and experience bliss in joyful, pleasant situations, in neutral situations, and in situations that are not very pleasant or joyful. You feel the same bliss. This is because at the first moment of perceiving a situation, you return to the root of thoughts, to their source. You liberate thoughts—this is vikalpa-kshaya.
In the state of the inner witnessing consciousness, there are no problems—only happiness and joy—and you can observe the play of what is happening. From this moment on, you stop seeing people as such, pleasant and unpleasant situations, and instead see the constant play of what is happening—chit-shakti-vilasa. It is difficult for the ordinary mind to see the play in the kitchen, at a meeting, or somewhere else, but only as long as you remain absorbed in thoughts. As soon as you seek the root of thought and stop dwelling in thoughts, you begin to discover the play. To discover the play in everything is a fascinating pursuit for a sadhu. Instead of becoming involved in anything, try to find the play in everything. Try to remain in awareness without interpretations in order to see the Divine play.
When you learn to discover the play in everything, it will evoke joy, delight, bliss, a deepening of consciousness, a deepening of clarity, and Divine revelation within you. Suddenly, you see that everything contains a hidden, secret meaning that you did not understand before; that nothing is as it truly appears; that an unknown Divine force is playing with you, and that for a very long time it managed to pull the wool over your eyes. You were deceiving yourself, while it was hardly doing anything at all. As they say: no one is deceiving you—you are successfully managing it yourself. Your mind was being deceived, but this Divine force has continued and continues to play, and it does not even care about your ideas. It is pure from the beginning, perfect from the beginning, free from the beginning, and exists in and of itself from the beginning. This Divine force is the Great Mother, the energy of Shakti, and you constantly live in interaction with Her, while at its foundation lies the great Consciousness, the Divine Father—Shiva.
When you begin to recognize this Divine play, you see that these are no longer people, no longer subjects with objects, no longer banal worldly, everyday situations, but the universal, absolute, total play of the Divine force. This vision begins to change a great deal in your perception. You begin to accept a great deal and let go of a great deal, because you no longer consider yourself entitled to judge the Divine force, evaluate it, or limit it. You acknowledge its divinity, however it may manifest. When you experience something like this, many things in your consciousness begin to become equalized. This is the very beginning of the experience of one taste—it is very important.
Understanding the Divine play and perceiving its purity are consequences of your having made the great decision to enter into great non-doing. In fact, the moment you made this decision, the world ceased to be the world. For you, it becomes a mandala in which the Divine play performs and dances. This play is always taking place and in everything, and it never ceases. Just as, with the great decision, abiding in contemplative non-doing does not cease, so the perception of the Divine play does not cease either. What was formerly ordinary, worldly, karmic, even repulsive, seductive, right or wrong, binding, or material—all of this begins to be seen as part of the Divine play. The distinctive feature of this Divine play is that it is empty; it has no inherent existence. It is self-liberated and constantly liberating itself. This means that it is not stable and constantly changes its configurations and causal relationships. It constantly reveals its nature, the empty nature of sahaja. The qualities of emptiness and self-liberation also reveal its purity, however it may manifest. In other words, it is always pure; within it lies an inconceivable purity, even if outwardly it operates through certain impure energies.
Kula-dravya: Consecrating Impure Elements in Tantric Sadhana
For example, in Tantric sadhana and worship, especially of female deities, there is the concept of “kula-dravya”—elements used for puja. These elements may vary: meat, wine, fish, peas, nuts, and legumes. From an ordinary point of view, these are worldly things. In Vedic India, however, within a strict Brahmanical culture, they are also forbidden, impure things—wine, meat, and so on.
However, the paradoxical Tantric view says that if certain mantras are recited over wine, it is consecrated, matsya-mudra is performed, amrita-karana-mudra—the mudra for creating nectar—is performed, the curse is removed, and it is consecrated and transformed into nectar, and a bija mantra is recited, then wine becomes madya, that is, a symbol of precious nectar. The same is done with meat, fish, peas, and even lust. If one performs a transformative sadhana, lust becomes a Deity, that which is called kula-dravya.
“Kula-dravya” means that it has been consecrated and has become Divine, having lost its worldly, material, alluring nature. It becomes something that can be used in tantric sadhana for awakening. It becomes part of the Divine Play. This does not mean that monks should now sit down, consecrate wine and meat, and think: “I am following the path of kula-dravya.” Monks have their own dharma, householders have theirs, and avadhutas have theirs.
Question: Om, Guruji, will you transmit such practices?
We will talk after twelve years—everything has its proper time. These are practices that come after Shaivachara. Shaivachara means that you have mastered jnana and attained mastery of the samadhi of jnana-yoga. Dakshinachara and vamachara include these practices. For householders, they are performed literally; for monks, partially, with substitutions, manasika. Everything depends on which category you belong to—pashu, vira, or divya—and on your bhumi. There are many different conditions here; everything depends on how you progress in sadhana.
The principle here is different: kula-dravya, the consecrated elements of tantric puja, even include rajasic, tamasic, impure elements which, once consecrated, are incorporated into the mandala of natural awareness and are pure. They serve the path of liberation, the path of enlightenment.
What does kula-dravya point to? It points to the fact that when you encounter similar situations in life, they cease to be frightening, repulsive, or obstructive to practice. But this does not mean that they should entice or attract you, or that you should seek them out. You simply find them a place in the mandala of awareness; you find them a pure place. Instead of confusing, enticing, tempting, or binding you, you see them as an empty play, a pure, perfect play of the energy of awareness, which is no longer capable of obscuring your mind.
Perceiving the World as Play: A Sign of the Third Bhumi
All situations that arise at the stage after making the great decision are always seen as play. If you do not see this as play, you are mistaken. If you perceive the situation as real and have no vision of play, it means that you are already mistaken—you are falling out of the space of contemplation, and your great non-doing has been destroyed. As long as there is great non-doing and contemplation, you see all this as play. When distraction occurs, you stop seeing it as play, and the great non-doing and the vow of single samaya are lost. This means that you must restore it.
Therefore, after making the great decision, a sadhu who has fully accepted single samaya as his path has no more problems. Why?
Answer from the audience: Everything is the path.
Everything is the path—yes, at the very least. What else?
Answer from the audience: Nature, the Universe—it purifies everything.
Yes, the nature of the Divine Play is such that there are no problems in it, nor can there be. The Divine Play is divine, and therefore totally blessed. Not even a shadow of impurity can be found in it. If you find one, that is your problem; it is not a problem of the Divine Play. As they say, on an island of gold, not even a shadow of impurity can be found. The nature of the Divine Play is always completely perfect, inherently pure, and blessed.
But if you have accepted the path of single samaya superficially, if you have superficially accepted great non-doing or simply tantric samayas, and have not yet understood how to observe them, you may enter into impure vision. That is why, when we speak of tantric samayas, we say that it is important to treat tantric practice, the substances, samaya brothers and sisters, the teaching, the Guru, and everything else with respect.
This nature of the Divine Play is always blessed, so you have no problems. Even if it seems that there are problems on the physical level, in consciousness there are already no problems—none at all; it is always play. Play is an attribute of the mandala of the deities. And when you are in the perception of the mandala, in the perception of the deities, you have no problems, because it is always blessed.
Falling out of the mandala, falling out of the vision of the deities, is a way to create a problem for yourself. Not falling out is a way to never have problems, because perceiving the mandala of the deities means that everything is one with the mind. The mandala is always one with the mind. Everything is perfectly pure, everything nourishes you, everything sustains you; nothing destroys you, throws you off balance, or creates obstacles—everything helps you. To perceive the mandala and the deities means that the world agrees with you, and you agree with the world. Everything nourishes you, everything is blessed, everything helps you, everything safeguards you, everything protects you—this is the perception of the mandala.
A stable sign of the third bhumi is perceiving everything as a game. Sometimes you can test yourself: which bhumi am I abiding in? Check yourself: do you perceive everything as a game—pure, perfect, always—or not? Are there interruptions in this perception or not?
The consequence of abiding in uninterrupted presence, the consequence of abiding in the great decision, is necessarily the external perception of the world as a dream, as an illusion, as empty, illusory, unified with the mind, and as a manifestation of a pure, perfect, Divine play. This is always the consequence of perceiving the external world. An understanding of behavior is built on these principles. The section on behavior concerns how to perceive the world as a game, how to perceive it as empty, pure, illusory, perfect, and inseparable from the mind.
The very way of contemplating in anuttara-tantra differs from the Tantric one. The Tantric method presupposes ritual sadhana, consecration—and kula-dravya is obtained through mantras, rituals, upasana, and worship. In anuttara-tantra, however, everything is different: here, the entire world becomes kula-dravya through directly abiding in presence. The entire world becomes consecrated and divinized in behavior through abiding in the natural state.
Commentary on a Text by Ramana Maharshi: The Necessity of the Guru and Selfless Action
Q. Yes. Now I understand this. I have just realized this. Is a Guru necessary?
M. So long as you consider yourself to be an individual, a Guru is necessary in order to show you that you are not bound by limitations and that your nature is to be free from limitations.
Another visitor asked: Actions are bonds. It is impossible to remain without engaging in some kind of activity, and therefore bondage continues to increase. How should one act under such circumstances?
M. One should act in such a way that bondage does not intensify but weakens; that is, it should be selfless action.
Selfish action is always based on the fact that you do not deeply investigate the nature of thoughts, but act from the surface mind. When you seek the root of a thought, you approach the foundation that lies beyond thoughts—the feeling of “I.” When you investigate the feeling of “I,” you approach that which is empty. Its foundation is empty, and you can no longer act selfishly. It even seems ridiculous and shameful to you to act selfishly. From the standpoint of the inner emptiness of awareness, the inner Divine radiance and light that reveal themselves within you, it is simply foolish and ridiculous to act selfishly—even somehow shameful. Because your inner light of awareness does not accept this. Your inner light of awareness shows you everything. You cannot act selfishly once you have found the root of thought.
Behavior as a Conduit of Divine Will
Then the question of behavior arises: how should one act correctly from this state? How, having found the root of thought and freed oneself from selfish attitudes, should one act correctly? Behavior is the most difficult section of the teaching. This means that you must shape your own kriya-shakti and iccha-shakti not on the basis of the mind, ego, karma, or karmic impulses—vasanas—but on the basis of natural awareness, pure vision, and the perception of the play.
Often in behavior, as happens with beginners, they become bewildered by the new vision and lose action in awareness. They simply do not understand how to act and let everything go, saying: “I let everything go; everything is transcendent.” This is an indicator of a certain level that is attained. They have understood that action solves nothing, that they no longer need fruits and results. The sense of being the doer dissolves: they have understood that they no longer need the hopes and fears associated with doing, with obtaining fruits and results. It is far more important for them to abide in awareness and in the view. However, this is not yet perfection.
Perfection is the ability to perceive the play and operate iccha-shakti and kriya-shakti, conveying Divine will, while doing so without a sense of being the doer, without hope for fruits and results, and on an entirely different level. To become a conduit of Divine will, Divine wisdom, and Divine actions. To become a conduit of the three powers: jnana-shakti, iccha-shakti, and kriya-shakti. At this point, this will no longer be action in the usual sense. The entire duality of the doer and action has already dissolved at the stage of accepting the great decision. This means becoming a cosmic player of Shiva, joining in the Divine play, lila, becoming one of the centers onto which the lila, the Divine play, is projected.
Commentary on a Text by Ramana Maharshi: The Power of the Name of God
One of the visitors asked Sri Bhagavan:
People give God various names, say that such a name is sacred, and that repeating it is a person’s merit. Is that true?
M. Why not?
You bear a name to which you respond, but your body was not born with a name written on it and does not tell everyone that it is called such-and-such. And yet you have been given a name, and you respond to it because you have identified yourself with it. Therefore, a name does mean something after all and is not simply an invention.
In the same way, the Name of God is also effective. To repeat the name means to remember what it signifies, and hence the merit of repeating the Name.
